You know those dreams you have that turn out to be premonitions of things to come? Well this was one of those dreams.

When I was I young girl I had this reoccurring dream where I was dressed in a detective outfit, beige trench coat, beige hat. I was driving in an old green car trying to solve a mystery. I turned down an old road that I always noticed in the town I lived in and a very distinct song began to play on the radio. Then I’d wake up. I can’t even remember how many times I had this dream- it was a lot.

Throughout my teenage years, I’d be reminded of it so often, because little things began happening that occurred in the dream. My first car was a 1974 green Dodge Dart, just like the one I had in the dream. A few years later a friend of mine was playing Aimee Mann’s new album “Lost in Space” and the last song of the album immediately struck me, it was the song from my dream. How could that be? At the time, that song had just been released and I had the dream years earlier.

I began wondering if it was just a coincidence or if the dream would somehow unfold in a significant way someday. But more years passed and I thought about it less and less.

When I turned 18 my little sister Lydia began going through a lot. She was getting into trouble at school, she started sneaking out at night to go drink and it was then she also started using drugs. I heard she would walk to the Taco Bell a mile away from the house (the parking lot of Taco Bell was always packed late into the night with people tailgating) it was a small town and people were bored, I suppose.

One night my parents got an awful phone call, the kind of phone call parents dread the most. My sister Lydia was at the hospital- she had been brutally attacked. She was found on the side of the road, bloody. An old women spotted her and called the police. They found roofies in her system at the hospital, and she couldn’t remember much. What she could remember was she had been drinking in the parking lot with 2 men she didn’t know and everything became hazy. She passed out and began going in and out of consciousness. She remembered being driven in the back of a car, she remembered being carried through the woods to a door, she remembered light pink walls while she was attacked, there were toilet stalls, it was a bathroom. When they carried her back to the car, she saw a glowing blue soda machine by the bathroom door, they left and then the 2 men dumped her on the side of the road.

We were all devastated, and I was filled with anger and heartbreak. I had been know to be extremely protective. The police were coming back and forth to the hospital trying to gather as much information as possible so they could find who did this to her. But all they had were the little pieces of memory she had from the night. And that’s all I had too, and i was determined to find out what happened.

I spent the next 3 days driving through my town (especially where she had been tossed out of their car) looking for any outdoor bathrooms I could find. I searched mostly gas stations, but none were in the woods and none had pink walls. I was exhausted from crying, and from driving and searching for so many days. I was about to give up the search, I felt like I tried everything, so I decided to head home.

Suddenly, the last song from Aimee Mann’s “Lost In Space” album came on my iPod shuffle, the song from the dream, and wouldnt you know- I was passing right by the street from that very dream. I made a sharp turn and began driving down it. My heart was pounding, I knew in my gut that this had to be the fulfillment of all that dream meant. Old green car, detective, song, street.

I came to a gate blocking me from a foot path into the woods. I realized it must be a second entrance into a nearby park I had been to many times growing up. I parked my car and walked around the gate, down the path, and then in the distance I saw it, the park bathroom, a blue soda machine next to the door. I was shedding tear after tear, adrenaline pulsating through me. I walked to the bathroom door, the lock was busted, I opened the door, pink walls, bloody floor, and she was found less than a mile away from there.

I fell to the ground weeping, experiencing every bit of pain you can from knowing a loved one was so hatefully hurt and you couldn’t do a thing to stop it.

That was 10 years ago. The men were never found. I’m not really sure why I was even meant to find the place she had been attacked, sometimes premonitions can leave more questions than answers, and that was definitely the case for this situation. All I do know is that something told me years before that this would happen, and that I was always supposed to end up there. And the only thing that brings me comfort to imagine is that since my premonition transcended time, maybe I also transcended time and was there with her on that floor in that very moment, crying with her, promising her everything would someday be okay.
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