I've only ever told one other person about this. I want to share this story to see if people think I'm just crazy, or if anyone else has seen something/had something similar happen. Honestly, I feel fucking stupid sharing this story at all, so, I'm going to remain anonymous. These events have taken place in 3 separate places in the UK. So far.
I'll start by saying I don't believe in after life. I believe that when you're gone, you're gone. But, this I can't explain. In my 25 years of life, I've had this consistent sense of someone following me, a person coming to check on me. 3 times, I've been visited by this someone. It has appeared both at night and during the day, and has been both a terror and a private blessing. Her name is, or was, Amara. I've not seen her since 2014, but, maybe one day I'll see her again. She had long black hair, and normally wore a long sandy brown/white coat or dress, maybe even a hospital gown. She seemed youngish, maybe about late teens, twenty something. She always seemed that age.
I've often struggled with depression and loneliness, and struggle sometimes to make connections with people. But, whenever I started feeling bad, she came and made sure I was okay. Not long after, things always seemed to pick up, or my luck seemed to change massively.
The first encounter was in a hotel while I was on holiday in Portsmouth, England. I was sleeping on a sofa bed, while my parents slept together in the double bed. I woke up, suddenly feeling this great sadness coming over me. I wanted to get up and go into the toilet, but, I couldn't seem to move. I could move my eyes ever so slightly, and illuminated in the light of a nearby lamp post, outside the window, I could see a white dress flowing at the end of my parents bed. It seemed to glide towards me, slowly and surely. I couldn't see the face, just this dark shimmering hair. I start freaking out, internally screaming at the top of my lungs as I tried to pull myself up out of my trance.
Suddenly, she was over me, her head and shoulders arched over me. And I was fine. She looked down at me, her round face and pale skin almost luminescent, her eyes a gentle brownish/green. She simply said "Are you okay?"
Then, the lights came up. I could move. But, the girl was gone. I turned my head and saw my mum leaving the bathroom, the toilet gently flushing. My mum looked at me for a moment. I got up and went to the toilet, and she asked if I was okay. I said yeah. She said I looked confused, I said simply "I'm fine" and felt happier.
The second time I met her, I was at home, it was a few years after my first encounter. I had been listening to some music and was chatting on social media with some school friends. I was getting thirsty, and wanted a good cup of tea. All my family were in, and it was an early summer evening. The evening is cooling and the light is still fairly bright out. and I could hear the family moving around the house. However, out the corner of my eye, I could see her standing on the old toy box in the study room. She was looking down on me, the same soft features as before, as if she hadn't changed.
She asked me 'Are you okay? You look sad." I wanted to respond. I had been getting bullied a bit, and was feeling detached from my friends at the time. I simply shook my head. She didn't respond much, she simply said "It'll be fine." I finally asked, "What's your name?" That was when she told me her name was Amara. Then, my sister came in. I turned to look at the door. My sister told me she heard me talking to someone. I looked back and told her I was just talking to myself. She looked at me, being the older sister, made a joke about her weirder younger brother.
I know better than to tell people I've been talking to girls manifesting in my room. But I felt better.
The last time was in 2014. I was feeling ill, and felt detached and lonely after spending 3 days in bed. My house mates were always out, working or at their boyfriend's places. The few university friends I had lived out in the town, and I lived on the outskirts, in a dingy apartment near the fringe of the town. It was a long walk, about 40 minutes, so it meant that making plans was difficult, connecting was always difficult.
Sitting in the dark of my room, the laptop lighting my face, I suddenly felt myself unable to move. Whatever I was watching, I couldn't feel anything anymore, my body was frozen. My head was turned to the wardrobe, the doors were closed. Then, they were open. My eyes widened, and who else appears there but Amara. She asked me that same question, "Are you okay?" I said, "I feel under the weather. I'm here alone." I wanted to cry. She simply nodded and said "It'll be over soon, you'll feel better and settle down. Promise" Not long after I broke out into a fever, and had the flu. She stood there, kind of watching me, as I was ill. She looked worried, but I felt like she could do little to help me. She simply just wanted to make sure I was okay.
I soon got better, Amara left me happy that I was well, and later that year moved in with some friends. I finally settled into university life and made some good friends since. I felt comfortable with a good friend, and I decided to tell him my stories of my encounter with this Amara, right up until the previous few months encounter when I got sick.
My friend who I told laughed slightly, not in a cruel way but in a nervous kind of 'i'm-not-sure-how-to-react' way, when I told him her description. He thought I might have watched 'The Ring' and had a nightmare. But the thing was, I didn't even know about the 'Ring' or see anything of it properly until I was at university These things have been happening since I was a young boy, before the whole 'long haired little girl in white dress' horror trope became a thing. I finally did watch 'The Ring', and honestly, the description is eerily similar. But, like I said, I didn't even know who Samara or Sadako were, or any other ghost movies like it.
But while the girl in the movie is eerily similar to the girl that visited me, their intentions are very different.
Whether these were merely hallucinations for a lonely, ill and tired guy, or if they were a true visitation from a 'guiding spirit', I've not seen her since. The consistency of the features, and the fact that I've seen her in the day, I'm still not sure what to make of it. Or, if I'm ever going to meet her again. All I know is, I've been living fine for the past few years, and I'm in a better place than I was then. I hope, whoever Amara is, or whoever she was, I hope she's in a better place too.